COWHC Ladies 2s vs Barnes Ladies' 6s - 08th April 2016

This report was written by the team via the medium of what’s app, with everyone chipping in a line/part.

It was a lovely hot sunny day. And the L2 had a point to prove. And so commenced the all important, majorly debated Barnesgate game
A bare 11 lined up (bare as in no subs, not naked). Although we wished we were considering the weather.
After deciding to play 15 min quarters to regularly take on much needed water the first quarter bought [sic]….Possibly the first goal but I can't remember wether [sic] it was first or second quarter so I stopped there for someone who could remember how it went lol
Our new recruit, Lou, and perfect POST holder slipped the ball past the keeper; Barnes felt the heat from the rapturous applause of our spectators and of course the joyous chorus from her teammates who along with the many supporters were whooping and hollering from our champagne hockey! Barnes didn't know what hit them having dominated the first ten minutes!
And so the sun beat down on us relentlessly and Barnes launched a renewed attack.

[And then came a minor interlude in the report writing:
Hop xx f? 3,3%2' ®~÷®™{™……Wow Sharon meaningful!..... I have absolutely no idea how that happened! Bloody annoying…..We thought you were swearing]

[We also got distracted by discussing cheese and so didn’t really cover:
• the 2 goals Barnes scored either side of a brilliant strike from Lyds which put us 2-1 up for a while;
• Amelia (our super-sub for who we declared undying love when she arrived just after half time) having run ins with 3 different players within 5 mins!!!; and
• Leggs getting a ball on the foot resulting in her swearing very loudly; photographic evidence means the team agreed that the “oh sh*t you b*stard” was entirely justified.
Then we refocused on the report….]

As my [Broni’s] heart rate reached 180bpm, technically I should have been on the floor, but 5mins from the end of the match luckily one of the oppo loudly announced that we were all tired, so that managed to ensure we dug much deeper and announced 'pah! Most of us are just getting started and we have another game after this'. #fighttilltheend
[Just as within the match itself this caused much mirth/discussion…]
Oh yeah...they shouting we were tired as if they were all chugging along at 100%!
Haha! Other than the ringer in the old school shorts they were all cream crackered! When their sub turned up they were fighting to roll off!

I know! Kettle calling the pot and all that!
*final whistle and COWS cheers rose across the sunny Addington Hills*
And so ended the Battle with Barnes, a match some thought we had no hope of making a showing in let alone the steely determined performance we put in under the midday sun. Our thanks to all our supporters for their never wavering support and helpful if occasionally conflicting advice (take your time; take it quickly….#classic). Massive thanks to both Nicky W and Martin for umpiring: Nicky doing it whilst possibly a little jaded and Martin stepping into the breach when Barnes didn’t realise they needed to provide an umpire….
And as our final words, it’s only fitting we pass on this sound advice/admonishment to you all…"never put your stick between someone's legs, you have been warned!" [© Martin Burke]