COWHC Men's 2s vs Leatherhead Men's 1s - 10th Mar 2018

I would like to express my displeasure with being wrongly selected for “dick of the day” this recent Saturday 10th March 2018. If you would humour me I’d like to express the case for many others who truly deserved this title.

Its abhorrent to be labelled like this…almost like being given an ASBO (which may be seen as a qualification to some of my fellow peers).
We begin with the start of the game, I was instructed by my central defensive pairing to make sure I do my defending. And so with great skill I placed the ball over the side of the pitch to ensure the opposition could not further attack…I ask you Sir/Madam is there any greater form of defending?

Candidates who justified this qualification were in spades…a few near misses (Joe/Ollie), a few shots hit straight at their goalkeeper (Jaideep) an attempted chuck up the pitch that went further wide than long, and not by Mr Andy Hooper for a change! (Alex) Ollie Houghton features again in this list as he “forgot” where to take a short corner from. Neil himself got a green card (deservedly) for having a spat with the umpire, and yet was voted only twice…who does he think he is…Jamie Carragher?

Keeping with the theme of our own defensive line, I’d like to tell you a little story of a certain Mr Thompson (who was mentioned earlier about commenting on my defensive duty). He committed the ultimate sin and put the ball into our own net! I feel like Terry should have saved it anyway mind…but aren’t there two candidates already that are more deserving?

12 short corners and no goals…surely that in itself is DOD worthy? And yet one of the key components in our routine landed himself with MOM! I mean…he scored with the last hit of the game…but does it mean I should be pigeon holed by just doing my job?

I implore you look at these factors into reversing this decision and give the rightful man the DOD vote and having to write the match report. As a humble and loyal servant of the club and team I want to express my feelings and I am sure you will make the correct decision overturning the vote.

Yours Sincerely,
Raj Chatwal
Master of Clearances
Probably the best right back in the world.