COWHC Men's 3s vs Kenley Men's 2s - 06th Oct 2018

M3s Roast

10-1 Win against Kenley

DP left the team in the capable hands of club chairman Hutch for a second week in a row; whilst he’s been gallivanting around Europe tasting fromagè and finding erotic pleasures in Brussels.

The day started on a negative note when the torrential downpour refused to stop. Pad being the little girl he is, asking for the game to be called off. Bore off mate, this isn’t cricket. Then our brainiac keeper Tezza forgot to pack his right hand glove with his keeper kit. Terry has two jobs to do on a Saturday. 1. Turn up on time with his FULL kit. 2. Make sure he keeps a clean sheet. Classic Terry - HE FAILED THEM BOTH. More on that later…. Meanwhile Ben Burke realised he had a couple of past tinder dates on the Kenley team, apparently they were “school friends.” Behave Ben; we saw the chemistry between all three of you. Then Lewis realised he hadn’t got his permission slip signed from his Mrs that he could come out that night for Beer Pong. Rumours have it she beats him… In a nutshell, it was all kicking off. And this was before the game.
The match started pretty solid. Nothing really happened for the first 15mins – it was an open game. Until Lewis stepped up and scored – courtesy of an assist from Pad. So what if it was an open goal? And who cares that he almost miss-hit the ball wide of the goal? Lewis scored. 1-0.

TC then decided to rob Indy of a goal from the short corner. The ball was already going into the goal, but TC being the THIEF he is, decided to plonk his stick in the way and take the glory. The thief scored again shortly after and it was 3-0. Then Ben Tinder Burke scored from a great team goal. 4-0.

Its 4-0 currently, Terry’s made a few wobbly saves up to now but luckily Chalkie and Woj were saving his ass. And then he let a 14 year old the size of a Hobbit scored. Terry really should have saved it. Thanks a lot Terry. 4-1. #BringBackPhilForThe3s

Second half was a bit of a rout. We won the half 6-0. Hutch came on the pitch and marshalled from the back; he knew Terry was in goal so he had to protect him. Neil was very solid on the left. James was excellent at right back. Our very own Ron Weasley (Jack Murphy) had a great game in midfield. He did the team a favour and stole a goal from a Mulley. Then Indy decided to steal a goal back from TC by getting a death touch to his shot, serves him right. Moving forward Mulley had a relatively dull game up front; he got the 1 goal and 1 assist, a pretty poor effort from him. Pad was the only forward who failed to score a goal, very poor from him. He did set up 4 goals so there’s a chance he may keep his place in the team for next week. TC showed that he is happy to put himself before the team and steal goals on the line; he did however buy a jug of Doombar for his hat trick so well played sir. Dav had an assist; Dav did nothing else all game. Ben Burke was solid in midfield; he’s improved somewhat marginally this season.

Overall great start to the season. Fantastic win. Lots of points on Fantasy Hockey!