COWHC Mens 3s vs. Surbiton Sparticans - 06 Feb 2016

Last weeks version of the Trumpton Riots left several of our players feeling battered and bruised, and as a result on Friday we were some people short of a full squad. But some frantic e-mailing, calling and no doubt the odd muttering of the Millenium Prayer, by Saturday we were able to field 13 men (and a certain Mrs S. Burke stepping in as the dancing queen between the posts - thank you Sharon!)

Given that the away fixture in Surbiton saw Crows dropping flies we were more than grateful to have sufficent bodies. So, with the wind whipping the sand like a devil woman (it reminded me a bit of a summer holiday in Weston last year actually...) we started the game.

The visitors were a strong team, but with a spine of Hoops, John G, Adam and JP providing a rock-solid axis we could utilise the young ones, i.e. Ben and Sam (both of whom have so much pace they would have embarrassed Fernando Torres when he was good!), to get past them.

The name of the game is to score goals, ideally early on, and JP duly obliged with a stunning goal from the sort of angle that nine times out of ten no-one should be able to score from.

That said, although we had the majority of the play during that half we couldn't quite capitalise. Cleashy and Corny were doing their best up front, Julian as well for a short while until he managed to get himself injured... must be something about the little town of Surbiton...

Now I know a second goal did arrive, Cleashy poaching from short range as if to say "remember me?", but I can't recall whether it was before or after half time. Unfortunately the memory fades as time drags by and although it's all in the game and hence my report, when all is said and done my timing can be a bit out...

Anyway, at half time the talk was, as usual, of patience. Adam had done a great job of marking the Surbiton play-maker out of the game during the first half, so I was slightly astounded when he decided he needed a breather and therefore volunteered me to do the job. We don't talk any more, he and I...

But, with Adam given the green light to go off, I stepped in to defensive midfield and proceeded to sit so close to number 152 the only way out for him was to play, as before, back on his own 25. Now there are times, I admit, that there is a bit of "wind me up, let me go" to my play, but mamma mia do I enjoy that. If one of us is keeping the opposition thinking, then it enables the rest to play with the freedom of a flying machine.

JP, Sam and Ben kept the opposition under attack. Corny was spreading their defence wider than the battlefield of Waterloo, and goal number 3 arrived. Another great finish from JP.

The defence were very solid, as usual, although some of the distribution was questionable - Hoops attempting a throw down a line, only to lift it clear out of the pitch and hit the floodlight stand... and then doing the same moments later! If he'd been wired for sound I think the whole of Croydon might have heard some choice words!

Given the solid foundation we kept pushing and twice came close to adding to the scoreline from short corners. First Adam had a shot which I managed to deflect, forgetting that this time I shouldn't actually be in the way! And then me, with a flick at goal that somehow the Surbiton keeper got to.

Goal number 4 finally came with the very last hit of the game. Again JP was the creator, a mazy run to the D, where a couple of us were screaming "gimme! gimme! gimme!", although with JP on a hat-trick we weren't expecting anything... and then he passed to Adam! He took a shot, which flew past the keeper and hit the backboard.

Congratulations to all who took part, particularly Sam, Keith, Mr Thompson and the living doll that is Sharon for answering our SOS! The day before you came we were struggling, you're all super troupers. The say the winner takes it all... well we're not quite back on top in the league, but we're nearly there. Keep it up boys!

***

Alternative “Big Up The Burkes” match report, Starting with Sharon who had husband, brother in law, & nephew on the pitch (count of 4). Next the youngest Ben who had Dad, uncle & aunty (count 4).

Then is Keith who had son, brother, & sister in law (again count 4). Myself who had wife, brother, & nephew (count of 4). So with 2 brothers, 2 nephews, 1 uncle, 1 aunty, 1 Dad, 1 wife, 1 sister in law, 1 brother in law playing the same game 10 I think! Hold on there were 16 earlier (4X4) where did the others go. We scored zero goals, conceded nil goals between us, yet won by 4 goals to nil.