COWHC Men's 1s vs Fareham Men's 2s - 29th Sept 2018

The oven is on. Its shoe pie season.

The CROWs started the 2018/19 season with, let’s say, not their most finessed formula. But shoepie was served nonetheless. For this recipe you will need the following;

11 Fareham
15 CROWS
1 Frenchman
1 Enforcer with empty pocket (Chairman Rao)
1 Cricketer
3 Green triangles
1 Yellow rectangle
0 Short corners
3 Floorials

As with all shoepies, preparation is key – so follow these initial key steps;

1. Ensure the CROWs have been truly inspired with a ball-tingling speech from el capitán – the honourable Ignatius Bernard. For good measure unchain your Dom and let him mumble/grunt about pressing something to the rest of the CROWs.

2. The start of the game is a good time to unsheathe you 3 floorials. These are tricky little bastards, however, if you keep ‘firing them up’ (sort of) they will eventually work out for you. After being told to start running the feral Dom will gather the ball and manage to get it in the rigging. Dom will later score another now he has established where the goal is.

3. At this point the Fareham players might start to get a little excited and ahead of themselves. Perfect time to bring out your enforcer. At the cost of a Green triangle, allow the enforcer to fill his pockets with Fareham players to bring the game to a gentle simmer once more. To spice things up chuck in another green triangle and watch the lube try and manhandle players into the fencing.

4. With the addition of 0 short corners we are forced to be resourceful to score. Allow your Frenchman to go about his business in the D, this week utilising ‘le pinball technique’.

5. To spice things up for the CROWs remind your cricketer about his favourite ‘cover drive shot’ and throw in one of your favourite cards – the yellow rectangle, for good measure.

6. Mash all this up over 70 mins and hey presto! You have a shoe pie.

Whilst not the typical CROW shoe pie in taste or look, it does come with a complementary 3 points. To improve the recipe, I have these suggestions;

a) More foamburst.
b) More biff
c) More goals
d) Less goals (opposition)
e) More foamburst

Much love,

Chef