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Sat 03 Dec 2016 · Hampshire/Surrey 2
Mens 1st XISunbury & Walton Hawks 1
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COWHC Men's 1s vs Sunbury & Walton Hawks - 03rd December 2016
Christopher Maundrell6 Dec 2016 - 10:03
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We lost 3 - 2
Dear All,
It is with great sadness that I bring you this report.
Despite my usual urge to be witty (by which I apply the scatter bomb approach of throwing as many ‘jokes’ out as I can and hoping something sticks), today it a very different day.
At around 1617 (following a late arriving umpire, who preceded to display sheer folly thereon in) the final whistle blew. The crows had only managed to ship 2 past the opposition (Sunbury) whom in turn got three past the crows rock that is Chaundy. The sharp ones of you may have identified that this in fact meant we lost the game.
Those last four words bought pain and turmoil, and as that final whistle blew the Sun was really buryd for the Mens 1s that day. You may have seen some of us at the clubhouse after, drinking some fine premium lager beer (or Doom bar, or port, or G&T, or dregs – basically whatever we could get our hands on), but rest assured these were not sweet sips of victory, these were slow, sinful, swallows synonymous with a sot, sluggishly, swigging, some Strongbow whilst surreptitiously speculating over their shrinking soul.
And, as prior videos may have alluded to, some (particularly idiotic) member of the Firsts provided an ear-wrenching rendition of a Disney classic “I Wanna Be Like You”. Now to the general public this may have just looked like an obnoxious, loud, guy who was a bit drunk, staggering around the stage trying to grab the attention away from his duet partner (you may recognise her from other classics such as “The umpire selfie and l”, "why should I shake hands" and the chart topping “RACHEL BARTHOLOMEUSZ”). But alas, this was not a spectacular song of sumptuous victory, this was simply sung by a smutty scoundrel, sonorously screaming for succour to help deal with the substandard, second-rate, shoddy, and frankly shit performance.
There may have been one or two moments in the match where a simple pass, from yours truly, would have been the better option. Instead, I backed my ability to score sensational strikes from further than six yards, supplying something similar to crap kick Karius conducted last week instead.
All jokes aside (where even are the jokes), we faced an opposition of a very similar standard. The work rate of the team cannot be faulted and on another day the game could have easily gone the other way. Special SHOUT-OUT either stadium side; Chaundy’s shot-stopping saves and Dominic’s snappy stokes, but MOM for Skipper Fibz who’s stick-skills, suave and sophisticated movement set the speed for the squad to shadow.
#squadgoals. CKS owt.
It is with great sadness that I bring you this report.
Despite my usual urge to be witty (by which I apply the scatter bomb approach of throwing as many ‘jokes’ out as I can and hoping something sticks), today it a very different day.
At around 1617 (following a late arriving umpire, who preceded to display sheer folly thereon in) the final whistle blew. The crows had only managed to ship 2 past the opposition (Sunbury) whom in turn got three past the crows rock that is Chaundy. The sharp ones of you may have identified that this in fact meant we lost the game.
Those last four words bought pain and turmoil, and as that final whistle blew the Sun was really buryd for the Mens 1s that day. You may have seen some of us at the clubhouse after, drinking some fine premium lager beer (or Doom bar, or port, or G&T, or dregs – basically whatever we could get our hands on), but rest assured these were not sweet sips of victory, these were slow, sinful, swallows synonymous with a sot, sluggishly, swigging, some Strongbow whilst surreptitiously speculating over their shrinking soul.
And, as prior videos may have alluded to, some (particularly idiotic) member of the Firsts provided an ear-wrenching rendition of a Disney classic “I Wanna Be Like You”. Now to the general public this may have just looked like an obnoxious, loud, guy who was a bit drunk, staggering around the stage trying to grab the attention away from his duet partner (you may recognise her from other classics such as “The umpire selfie and l”, "why should I shake hands" and the chart topping “RACHEL BARTHOLOMEUSZ”). But alas, this was not a spectacular song of sumptuous victory, this was simply sung by a smutty scoundrel, sonorously screaming for succour to help deal with the substandard, second-rate, shoddy, and frankly shit performance.
There may have been one or two moments in the match where a simple pass, from yours truly, would have been the better option. Instead, I backed my ability to score sensational strikes from further than six yards, supplying something similar to crap kick Karius conducted last week instead.
All jokes aside (where even are the jokes), we faced an opposition of a very similar standard. The work rate of the team cannot be faulted and on another day the game could have easily gone the other way. Special SHOUT-OUT either stadium side; Chaundy’s shot-stopping saves and Dominic’s snappy stokes, but MOM for Skipper Fibz who’s stick-skills, suave and sophisticated movement set the speed for the squad to shadow.
#squadgoals. CKS owt.
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