COWHC Ladies 2s vs Oxted Ladies 3s - 01st Dec 2018

The first morning of December and as some of us were awoken by the rain hammering on windows, we assumed that today may require waterproof bags, bin liners and most likely a change of clothes. With everyone FINALLY at the pitch now including myself, we braved the awful weather and started the game. Oxted came screaming out of the gates and within the first few minutes their star player had managed to wangle her way round us and just slip one past Mrs B. Feeling a little shell shocked we were spurred on and with our helpful coach, on the sideline helping to direct and encourage, we defended hard and with some grit and determination and some fantastic passing up the entire length of the pitch from everyone we managed to keep everything else out in the first half and had some great chances but were unfortunately unable to get over the goal line. Despite some convincing celebrations from Toni, there was unfortunately definitely no goal. We clearly dominated the first half and after a team talk from coach Jay, the message was simple, keep doing what we are doing, and with some other tactical messages, we knew a goal was easily within our reach.

We entered the second half fired up and knowing exactly what we had to do. With some further excellent play from everyone and finally it came, our first goal. There was panic, urgency and finally a cheer (this time justified) which confirmed that ‘make sure Mellor’ was at it again. Rejuvenated by a chance to get one over on Oxted, we continued to give it 110% but again despite some bloody near misses no more goals came. Just when we thought we had got the draw, their star player (who had stayed very quiet til then since being two on one marked out of the game) suddenly appeared and again somehow between her and a couple of kids they managed another one.

The game came to an end and with everyone feeling very despondent (and Netty unnecessary), we were all told by coach Jay to hold our heads high and come away knowing that their goals were scrappy and not great and that we completely dominated that game.

But after very nearly being carded and ejected from the pitch for throwing her stick (once across the floor, once very acrobatically into the air above a crowded D) Toni wasn’t done there surprising us there. With a few of us back at the clubhouse enjoying some fairly OK teas, our captain told her how naughty she was for demonstrating her baton twirling skills with her stick and we discussed her slight tendency to celebrate a little early and it was decided by our filthy minded captain that Toni doesn’t actually know when it’s in (make of that what you will but, it’s obvious how it was intended). I have also been asked to include the brilliant story of her bursting into tears when she met a stranger abroad who happened to be an Oral B rep (such a dentist) and that she has a filthy google search history (for more details see Toni).

In conclusion a miserable wet day but everyone worked themselves stupid and the score DID NOT reflect the game. Well done girls.

Goals - Sharon Mellor
POM - Leggs

Thanks to Jay for coaching and encouraging us and thanks to Cocksy and Maundrell for some great umpiring.