COWHC Ladies 2s vs Merton Ladies 2s - 13th Oct 2018

In our final match before the two week break for childcare duties the Ladies 2s were determined to end the first quarter of the season on a win.

We arrived at CHS raring to go, and after a few minutes of googling the history of Croydon High School we’d managed to crack the crystal maze puzzle to get onto the pitch (note the code is the year the school was built or something) – we were unstoppable already. Pleasantries were exchanged, cheese freebies issued and then we got down to the serious business of opening gates, feeding chickens then shutting the gate. After a bit of sumo squatting and Greek dancing it was time to begin. We were slightly worried by the absence of stalwart keeper and amazing chocolate crispy baker Mrs B but Pav had very kindly stepped up and volunteered to go between the sticks. It’s never a dull match when you have Pav in goal (or indeed anywhere on the pitch), and she really appreciated the helpful tips and advice from various pitch players who’ve never and would never go in goal in their lives J The team played well, the defense was solid and linked up well with midfield who in turn worked the ball up to Two Goal Toni and Make sure Mellor. Toni’s persistence final paid off in the first half when rather than jump on top of the keeper and roll around she decided to dodge round her a smack the ball into the goal. After some beautiful passing by nearly everyone on the team, not to be outdone (or lose the much coveted top-scorer trophy) Mrs Mellor managed to crack one home. In retaliation Toni indulged in a little more rumpy pumpy with their keeper then near the end of the first half scored another when the oppo's strategy (that’s great marking her only option now is to go for goal!!!) failed.

Half-time 3-0 and a very excited Capitano Robbo delivered a highly inspirational, motivational half-time team talk which resulted in 25 goalless minutes. Distracted by Jay in his uber-tight umpiring shirt borrowed from one of the ladies we somehow managed to concede a goal. Determined to open up the gap again there was a ‘was it wasn’t it touched in the D’ type situation (Jay told us afterwards we didn’t celebrate so he didn’t give it – lesson learned ladies!!). Fortunately later we were rewarded when on a short corner the ball ended up in front of Robbo who under the helpful guidance of Leggs (just ****ing **** it ***** you *****) or something along those lines whacked it and managed to score – this one was definitely celebrated and seen by Jay, prosecco was opened, fireworks let off etc etc. Eventually Jay’s final ‘I got it out a Christmas cracker’ pathetic sounding whistle below and it was over 4-1 and we skipped off to take our children to Center Parks for half term.

POM Robbo/Netty

Umpires Jay/Will

Goals Mellor 1, Toni 2, Robbo 1