COWHC Ladies 1s vs Spencer Ladies 5s - 20th Jan 2018

There are numerous notable Spencers - namely Lady Diana Spencer, Phil Spencer and Marks & Spencer. Fortunately on Saturday the COW Ladies 1’s prevented any memorable Spencer achievements but the game against South London’s Spencer had almost the same amount of intrigue, conspiracy theories, Location critical moments, changing strategies and questionable decisions.

Despite the persistent rain the COW Ladies 1’s arrived at our home Location Location raring to go, buoyed by our win and draw results since Christmas. After the usual conversations about the warmth of the new Croydon High toilet and could we fit the whole team in there, Bryony’s wrinkly tracksuit bottoms, the wind chill factor and need for a baselayer and a risk assessment of the optimal minute to remove one’s tracksuit bottoms…. and the less usual about the residual secret santa presents from last week and Dicko’s inability to tell the difference between a pink whistle and an orange whistle - we warmed up (with notable players “missing in action”…..).

The start of the game was certainly a Marks and Spencer moment as we let the opposition get the better of us - taking far too long to focus our strategy and find our niche and losing valuable ground and share. However we absorbed the pressure and before long reacted, regrouped and regained control.

The defence of Lena, Santy, Emer and Lydia were solid, calmly intercepting and tackling and then distributing the ball out to the ferocious midfield. When shots came anywhere near Lisa she confidently stepped in and delivered a cool clearance.
The COWs pressure started to pay off as we spent more time near our attacking goal, finding ourselves in the perfect Location for a big Lizzy hit into the D, a jostle of sticks and the ball was in the back of the net. Much celebrating on the way back to the half way line, ignoring the Spencer protestations ringing in our ears..….but no…..goal disallowed…. Did we? Did she? Why? Who saw? Who was it? Who knew? How could….?

Despite not going one up we knew the chances were there. The midfield of Alex, Nicky, Lizzy, Bryony and Dicko were resplendent in action, winning the ball time after time, passing neatly to each other before releasing to forwards Rachel, Tani and Hannah.

A few shots were on target and it wasn’t long before we won a short corner. Now, it’s fair to say the COW Ladies 1’s short corners in recent weeks have been somewhat of a car crash - too close, too fast, distracted, missed balls, air shots and mis-timed passes. This time we eagerly stepped up confident that no tragedy would result from today.
A quick huddle at the top of the D and the strategy, location and winning bid was determined- Emer push out, ball to Alex, slip left to Lizzy and put it in the goal. All went to plan from the start…. Emer pushed out to Alex, slip to Lizzy, big hit to the far post, Hannah on the post deflected it into the goal…. but alas….no!
Gazumped at the very last second by a Spencer foot on the line.

We looked aghast and pleadingly to Kirstie Allsop who raised both arms and awarded a penalty flick. Was this to be our fairytale dream?

We gathered and crossed fingers as Lizzy faced her foe.

It wasn’t to be. It wasn’t our time. The Spencer Gods were looking down on them.

It remained 0-0 until the half time break. The COW Ladies took stock and strategised and the ruling duo in charge warned both teams about barging and backchat, asking both teams to cut it out. Which all meant that in the second half………...
nothing changed at all.
Other than in this half Kirstie’s other hand was kept warm in her pocket.
Both teams continued to play with ferocity and strength. There was a sense that if anyone stepped off the pace and commitment the other team might somehow slip ahead.

We fought on with a quote from Lady Diana Spencer clearly in the back of our minds - “I don't go by the rule book... I lead from the heart, not the head”.

Leading by the heart indeed (and only sometimes with little regard for the rules)…… Rachel raced around madly, attempting, remarkably successfully to cover every position on the pitch, Alex continued her trademark crunching tackles while Bryony’s lengthy stride seemed to eat up the right hand side of the pitch putting her streets ahead of the fading Spencer team. Nicky continued to weave her away around the pitch, deliberately searching out clusters of 2 or 3 Spencer players so she could show off her skills beating them all, Hannah got warned again for barging and Santy consistently stepped in front thwarting the Spencer attack at every opportunity. The back trio of Lena, Emer and Lisa worked in royal splendour, intercepting and clearing problems every time.

After some tense final minutes, the game drew to a close, remaining 0-0. A decent point against a team higher in the league who beat us earlier in the season - but still a feeling we’d just missed out on our dream house.

A profound lesson learned….if you have quite large feet and need to retrieve a mid-match ball from the football goal, carelessly leaving a foot trailing in the goal netting can lead to one face planting the astro in an ungainly Miranda style and then having to write the match report.

Thanks to Jay for umpiring and our sideline supporters.

POM votes were 1 for Lizzy, Lisa P & Rach, 2 for Santy, Nicky and Alex and a winning 4 for Miss Bryony