Mens 2nd XI
Matches
Sat 08 Dec 2018  ·  Surrey Area - Division 3
Croydon & Old Whitgiftian HC
Mens 2nd XI
1
2
Merton 1
COWHC Men's 2s vs Merton Men's 1s - 08th Dec 2018

COWHC Men's 2s vs Merton Men's 1s - 08th Dec 2018

Christopher Maundrell8 Jan 2019 - 12:07
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We lost 1 - 2 Report by Joe

Note to self:
1. Don’t argue with the opposition umpire
2. Don’t argue with the opposition umpire, in the game before yours
3. Don’t argue with the opposition umpire ,in the game before yours ,when your whole team is watching
4. Don’t argue with the opposition umpire, in the game before yours, when your whole team is watching, don’t get sent out of the cage so they can rig the vote

Terry Eeles- 0 Goals 0 Assists 3 POMS 8/10

In Terry we T‘rust’. Terry is a very artsy man who loves to make everything more dramatical than it needs to be. Whether that is not closing his legs and letting the ball dribble through them and costing us the game or ducking under drag flicks. Terry always knows how to find the back of the net. But in all seriousness Terry has developed a lot this season and some of the saves he has made have not only saved us goals but also won us a lot of points. With his progression he is now in the top 4 keepers in the club #bringbackchaundy

Things to work on:
Do more 5ks
Send fewer messages about 5ks

Alex Steele- 1 Own goal 1 Assists 1 POM 7/10

Steelers is an interesting one, he takes over from Terry in being the oldest man to grace the turf and on a good week you can’t even tell! Raj got a lot of s*** from certain individuals when he selected Steelers to go away to Surbiton #OH but he walked into the team like he had been a part of it all season and earned himself a well-deserved POM. It literally couldn’t get any better for him and surprisingly it didn’t as by the time Christmas came he started to look like an old Ken George. Let’s hope that the Christmas break revitalises Steelers otherwise we could have an angry Steelers again and we all know how that went.

Things to work on:
Spend more time in the gym
Send fewer messages about the gym

Raj Chatwal- 0 Goals 0 Assists 1 POM 3/10

Being the second best hockey player in his family, home is difficult for Raj but he doesn’t let that affect his game as you can see by his stats. Rumour has it Raj bought his way to captaincy but that could be fake news. He has magical hands according to some of the male players of the club it's just a shame he has no clue how to use them on a stick. If he learnt how to I'm sure he would be one of the sort after players on the hockey scene!

Things to work on:
Spend more time playing badminton
Send fewer messages about the badminton

Neil Furhman- 0 Goals 0 Assists 0 POM 0/10
Neil is another interesting one having played all but 1 game this season he has somehow managed to still be on 0 fantasy points, how is that physically possible? I hope that in the second half of the season Neil finds his level and may possibly even go back to Sanderstead where he still coaches every week #Judas. I also hope he has been practising that line ball over the Christmas period and if he needs any tips on how to slap the ball he should just ask Clare.

Things to work on:
Do more 5ks
Send fewer messages about 5ks

James Margetson- 0 Goals 0 Assists 1 POM 3/10
Last season was the best season the 2s have had in many a year and I think we all know what reason that was! Margy was riding the pony, ever since he jumped off the pony it has started to go wrong for the 2s!

Things to work on:
Do less 5ks
Send more messages about 5ks

Alex Brockhurst- 0 Goals 0 Assists 0 POM 1/10
There isn't really much to say about the first half of Alex's season. Missed the first half to coach fake football in America and then skipped a few weeks to spend time with his girlfriend #whipped. One thing the team did miss whilst Alex was away was his aerials, last season they were a massive asset to the team and hopefully in the second half of the season we can exploit the other teams steelers with the ball over the top!

Things to work on:
Do less 5ks
Send more messages about 5ks

Robert Gorgy 0- Goals 0 Assists 0 POM 5/10
For Robert Gorgy I can write whatever I want as he only gets first teams emails so will probably never see this anyway.

Things to work on:
Do less 5ks
Send more messages about 5ks

Will Cooledge- 1 Goal 3 Assists 0 POM 4/10
If Cooledge focused more on his hockey ability than running 5ks he could possibly rival Dom. It's just a shame he has the same hockey ability as Stevie Wonder with ear plugs in! He even now takes the warm up on a Saturday so that he can be more like Dom. Cooledge does offer something to the team as he is now the 4th best injector, just wait Will your time will come!

Things to work on:
Do more 5ks
Send fewer messages about 5ks

Ben Burke- 0 Goals 1 Assist 1 POM 7/10
At the tender age of 18 Burke has fitted in well to his first season in the 2s. No one will forget the day he turned up in his brand new sunglasses his mummy got him for his birthday and proceeded to wear them for as long as he could #iremembermyfirstbirthday. We've had our fair amount of gingers in the team this year and he by far is my least favourite one. With Jack you get good looks, with Sam you get a great personality and with Ben you get nothing. Now with him playing school hockey for the second half of the year the 2s will be missing him but I personally think that the 2s will be in a better position without him.

Things to work on:
Do less 5ks
Send more messages about 5ks

Ash Gumbrell- 2 Goals 1 Assist 0 POM 6/10
The man with the best communication in the club, just a shame his marking is nowhere near the same standard. Ash is mister consistent you know what you will get from Ash every week you won't realise he is there until we get a short corner and then all of a sudden, he will miss the trap and the opportunity will be gone! Luckily, he is really fast and will get back in a matter of seconds #fakenews

Things to work on:
Do more 5ks
Send fewer messages about 5ks

Jack Murphy- 0 Goals 0 Assists 0 POM 3/10
Jack has made the jump from the 3s to the 2s and my God can you see it, he still plays like he has the likes of Indy around him when he doesn't realise how much stronger the 2s players are. I’m sure that in the second half of the season Jack will make the step up and play like he should. If he doesn't I don't think it will be long until we must find another replacement for him and honestly, I think we may have to turn to Ollie which no one really wants

Things to work on:
Do more 5ks
Send fewer messages about 5ks

Joe Hyatt- 5 Goals 6 Assists 0 POM 11/10
As the best player in the team, Joe is the perfect role model to the younger players in the team. His ability to go out every Friday night and still turn up in tip top condition every week and be the best player on the pitch but still somehow not get any POMs. As you can see by his stats he has the most assists in the team by a country mile and is the player that young Robert and Ben should aspire to be.

Things to work on:
Do less 5ks
Send more messages about 5ks

Pardeep Chatwal- 4 Goals 2 Assists 0 POM 10/10
Pads was brought into the team to replace his marginally fatter brother as we all know the 2s need a token Chatwal upfront. Finally getting rid of Indy and bringing in his brother was one of the best ideas the captains have ever had and finally brings some running to support Joe. Sadly, we are going to miss Pads for the start of the second half of the season as he is continuing to be #whipped and is going on holiday for a few weeks to spend time with his sister.

Things to work on:
Do less 5ks
Send more messages about 5ks

Kai Patel- 6 Goals 4 Assists 0 POM 10/10
For a 50 year old man Kailash looks surprisingly good, shame his hockey ability hasn't aged as well as he has. If there is one man that tries his hardest every week it isn't Kai, turns up to training just as the warm up finishes, warms up the keeper rather than going for a run with the rest of the team. He optimises brilliance! Kai is also known for loving a beer or 2 and if you want to know where he is on a Saturday night just call Larry! #imahustlerbaby

Things to work on:
Do less 5ks
Send more messages about 5ks

Indy Chatwal-0/10 NO ONE CARES ABOUT HIS STATS
Finally found his home in the 3s #goodriddance

Match details

Match date

Sat 08 Dec 2018

Kickoff

14:00

Location

Competition

Surrey Area - Division 3
Team overview
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