COWHC Men's 2s vs Guildford Shadows - 20th Oct 2018

So a bright Saturday morning and I’m packing my bag for a wedding reception in norf London. Slightly concerned that Rob G might miss the game after a late night text asking where we’re playing and when. He only received first team email apparently....

Joe agrees to pick him up and grab Terry, so either they will all get there slightly frazzled or be wrapped round another car being cut out by the fire service....

My journeys a pain. M25 traffic travelling slower then Joe Hyatt doing suicide runs. Rumour has it Rob G slept for the entire journey to avoid hearing again about Joe’s first adult hat-trick.

I digress, I arrive at a sunny Guildford to be greeted by my cheery team. All diligently working on their stick skills smashing balls into an empty net (most missing to be honest) then I spot him. The youngest member of our side, not only stepping up and showing of his skills but doing so in mirrored sunglasses. Burke by name.......

Again I digress. Guildford had obviously heard about our ability to play on sticky bobbly pitches and so turned on the water cannons to give the pitch a soaking. Oh how professional!

With a new back 4, a new midfield combination (3rd in 3 games) and the front 3 that saw us bang them in last season, we were in confident mood. With the changes some called me the tinker man, others less polite things.....

With a rallying call we looked to start the game in a fast and furious pace. What we looked at however was Guildford bobble the ball through us, leaving Tezza exposed and subsequently beaten.

Right let start again shall we! We get back to it and start finding our shape and a way into the game. Then comes the pivotal moment. Words like legend, worldie and phrases like “once in a lifetime”, are all too commonly banded around these days but what came next was just that. The ball was played round by the CROWS midfield reaching Kai in the D, his mis-control allowed me to flick the ball through my legs towards goal. The opposition goalkeeper flummoxed by the skill and audacity simply fell over in awe. With razor sharp reflexes and realising what could happen, I selflessly throw myself forward, flying horizontally through the air, landing on the keeper. I smashed the ball over the inch it needed to travel and let out a raw that obviously shook the Guildford team to its core. Not all heroes wear capes! 1-1 and I took a breather to reflect on what had just happened. The thought of book deals, the crowd mobbing me after the game and my adoring team filled my mind.*

*I miss controlled it through my legs, and then flattened the keeper to score from on the line.

Just then we went 2-1 up! Ash rolled the ball to Joe, who mishit the ball travelling wide. However, as he has done for the majority of his 48 year hockey career, Kai sniffed a chance of a tap in and stole in to deflect the ball into the goal*

*Ash actually twatted the ball at Joe, who took it superbly and rocketed a shot towards the corner where Kai deflected it into the roof-ridiculous goal, but who wants to hear about that.

As the half came to a close CROWS broke again. A smart ball into the D found me with a 1 on 1 on the base line. Sensing the anticipation of the crowd and hearing my team mates gasp, I spun like a ballerina with the ball in the hook of my stick. I planted it on Guildford foot. Short Corner won and a rush of congratulations from my team mates for seeing the bigger picture and putting us in a great position. From my crisp injection Ash collected the ball drifted passed 3 defenders and slotted through the keepers legs for a 3-1 lead!*

*this all actually happened except the crowd anticipation and my team congratulating me.

Halftime and 3-1. The second half was a more cagey affair with another goal from Guildford to make it interesting. The more notable actions came from Rob G who cried and asked to be subbed as he was feeling sick (probably form the thought of having to go home with Joe). Margy shouting “if you’re s*** get off the pitch” and apparently I fell over trying to change direction and collect a misplaced pass from one of our midfielders.....

All in all a good day at the office. We scored good goals and will prevent conceding in that manner again and saw less square pegs in round holes (insert Terry-esque filthy pun)

Mom Margy for bossing the Right Back role

DOD Yours truly for no other reason then to keep the team morale up......

Unbeaten in a new league and onto a Top of the Table clash next week. Let’s go!