COWHC Men's 3s vs Oxted Outlaws - 02nd Feb 2019
By Christopher Maundrell
We on 5 - 3
Report by Raj
Monty - 7/10 - not sure he could have done much for any of the goals, Made a few class saves and is a good egg. But what came first? Chicken or egg
Hutch - 6/10 - with him off we lost a bit of stability at the back which led to a couple of goals, claimed he couldn’t hear me screaming for the ball when Jedward said he did...not did he hear “play to the whistle” hearing aid time?
Brooksey - 6/10 - did his best marking a decent player. When he came off we were 3-1 down and when we finished we ended up 5–3 up, you do the math...
Dp - 3/10 - Thanks for coming, Jaideep is not a sweeper
Jedward - 6/10 massively helping my argument against hutch, paid his match fees really well...?...talk more dammit
Raj - 9/10 - Bravely put his body on the line to protect us against the opposition, tireless work right up and down the wings, questionable pitch lines meaning passes were slightly astray. Unsung hero
Jaideep - 2/10 - Not a sweeper, awful taxi driver, drives a dirty car, Started a ruse to get me dod. Maundrell? Not a bad bottom diamond
Ash - 7/10 - mr reliable, never does anything wrong. Far too nice. Maybe needs to shoulder barge some kids
Gorgy - 3/10 - see DP, minus the sweeper stuff
Charlie - 8/10 - genuine contender for man of the match, tireless work rate and a good head on the ball. “Topped” reverse stick finish for his goal and well assisted by Raj ? definitely been playing long enough, surely it’s time for his “yard initiation?”
Dav - 3/10 - “I remember my first assist,” looks like a man who’s mind and body clearly aren’t in sync when on the Astro
Lewis - 6/10 - actually surprisingly, alarmingly, unbelievably fast...decent assist too
Jay - 7/10 - scored a decent goal from memory though for the life of my can’t remember the actual goal itself ? just remember a solid hi5 afterwards. Put himself about well
Mulley - 8.5/10 - Apparently, man of the match worthy performance, scored two goals and worked his socks off. If he worked out when/where to run, he won’t need to run 500km per game
Pad - 7/10 - skill that has never been seen before for his first goal, so much so that he used up all his talent and had nothing left for the rest of the game. Cricket skills need work.